An Important Update about Rami Abraham


A brief history

About three years ago, I quit smoking. The primary item I used to assist in gradually lessening cravings to inhale the smoke generated from smoldering leaves and paper within a paper cylinder is a vegetable glycerin vaporizer:

An assortment of vaporizers, also known as "vapes", "pens", "bro sticks", "cyber cocks", "bro bone", "tiny saxophone", and "e-cig".
An assortment of vaporizers, also known as “vapes”, “pens”, “bro sticks”, “cyber cocks”, “bro bone”, “tiny saxophone”, and “e-cig”.

Gradually, I decreased the amount of nicotine present within the vegetable glycerin. Eventually I was using a vegetable glycerin which contained no nicotine at all.

This is sort of the goal when using a vaporizer for smoking cessation. You get lower and lower, then you stop. Took me the better part of a year, slowly weening off of sweet nicotine poison delivery via smoke/vapor.

A continuance of the cyber-blunt

Except, I didn’t stop. By then, I’d become enamored by the countless flavor varieties available for vegetable glycerins. Google it; it’s a thriving, billion-dollar economy.

In the back of my head, I knew it was a waste of money. Yet, a harmless vice, I told myself. Using a vaporizer became routine. It had no (apparent) affect to my disposition, and displayed no (apparent) side-effects physiologically. I mean, it’s better than heroin, right*?

*Heroin is way better actually


Then, slowly, I started to notice things.

Lame things.

I began seeing a culture of sorts developing around the usage of vaporizers.

Two things were happening internally, in my mind:

  • I noticed I was greatly at odds with the subculture developing around vaporizers, and
  • Me using a vaporizer for no reason, save habit, became increasingly unacceptable

Vape-free (that’s me!)

Effective immediately, I no longer use vegetable glycerin vaporizers.

After considering the considerations considerately, I’ve concluded that the minor benefits of using a vaporizer do not outweigh the unpleasant internal and interpersonal effects that arise from usage.

While I do, incidentally, have friends and colleagues of whom I’m fond that use vegetable glycerin/propylene glycol vaporizer devices, the greater “vape culture” contains many affects, mannerisms, gesticulations, and personalities at-large that are not compatible with my personal behavioral profile, nor my requirements for participation in this sub-culture.

I’ve been at odds with these metastasizing attributes since first hearing the word “vape” about two years ago.

Dénouement: Brief Observations of the Cigarette Break

Cigarettes, which are organic, leaf-based cylindrical nicotine-delivery devices which employ standard combustion as an energy source (devices upon which vaporizers base much of their design and functionality), offer some benefits that were once very alluring:

  • Desirable effects of nicotine on the central nervous system.
  • The break of time-segments within a day that the “cigarette break” affords.
  • Cigarette breaks are frequently used as micro-social-gatherings. There’s probably a TED talk about it.
  • These micro-social-gatherings offer frequent recuperation for the brain, as well as the development of bonds with peers. A fellowship begins (despite it being centered around slowly giving ourselves cancer).
  • An unspoken hierarchy develops within cigarette breaks, in which the person whom is either worst or best at quitting is the “winner”. It must be one or the other.
  • If two people are present during a cigarette break, one deemed the “worst at quitting”, the other “best at quitting”, it is an automatic draw. The tension between both persons, especially if one or both have notable egotism attributes of their personality, are frequently amusing to the other attendees of the smoke break.

In my initial usage of vaporizers, I observed that traditional cigarette smokers, frequently referred to as “smokers”, also allow vaporizer users to join them during these ritual moments. A common result is that the vaporizer user wins the above contest, as they’re a non-sequitur. They have both quit and have not quit.

In addition to that super fun stuff, the smoke break is steered invariably toward discussion of one of the following topics:

  • The cigarette-smoker(s) wishes to quit and try a vaporizer
  • The cigarette smoker(s) tries the vaporizer
  • The vaporizer user misses smoking
  • The vaporizer user has very little will-power, and asks for a cigarette

An oral fixation manifesting as an intermittent desire to place the tip of a cylinder in my mouth, inhale smoke from it, and shortly thereafter exhale the smoke was a bizarre-enough development of my life. I will no longer tolerate my inclusion in a subculture that is comprised (almost) entirely of Bud Bundy’s.

Rami is so mean.
Rami is so mean.


Credit to friend and anthropomorphic pizza-rat Eric Andrew Lewis for the featured image:

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